The month of romance - are you feelin’ it? While Valentine’s Day is super played up for couples, make sure to take a 360 degree approach when celebrating: Celebrate yourselves, your partners, your fuck buddies, and beyond. This month’s questions give an honest insight at some of the most common things we face when expressing our sexuality & love, and I’m happy to shed some light on them!
Is there anything I can do to combat lack of sex drive due to medication?
There are absolutely some things you can do to help keep your sex drive up when medication is knocking you down. Consider…
First & foremost, talking to your doctor. Sometimes the lack of sex drive can be fixed by switching medication to something more suitable for your body. They may also have some suggestions on supplements, habits, or medically approved treatments that can help get your mojo back!
Plan time for intimacy. There’s an old saying “If you don’t lose it, you lose it”. I see commonly with my audience that not engaging in our sexuality can ironically cause an even further dip in desire, versus creating a longing. When our brain can’t trigger our desire, we might have to meet our body’s in the middle. Try carving out time for self-pleasure or intimacy with a partner to take your time, explore, and see if drive can be stimulated through… stimulation. It’s not that we don’t like pleasure, it’s that we need a little extra push to experience it!
The most common reason sex drive tanks on meds is because of lowered sensation, which can cause us to have a hard time getting erections or feeling anything at all. I find that sex toys are truly a BLESSING in this situations, for they can create steady, powerful sensations that may give our nerve endings more support to feel pleasure. This could be something like vibrators, dils with a perfect G-Spot curve (I’m talking about you, Thruster’s Nanci!), or a cock ring.
Nipple orgasms. Real or myth?
Absolutely real! The largest sexual organ we have is our brain - in theory, we can produce an orgasm from nearly any part in our body. In my experience, I’ve met someone who was paralyzed and achieved orgasm through thumb stimulation - making our nipples a very valid orgasm inducer. Nipples in themselves can be EXTREMELY sensitive & sensual, making the massaging and sucking of them prime for climax. Give it a go!
Photo by Kamaji Ogino from Pexels
How did you first enter the world of BDSM & kink?
This can be a tricky one to answer - I’ve been in this exact position! Back when I got into kink, it happened very organically with a partner (and way too much research on Reddit). I really wish I had someone to guide the way, which is why I created my course Discovering Kink: A beginners course on how to explore kink and find yours.
While kink has a broad spectrum of definitions, it really just entails trying something sexual that would be considered “outside of the norm”. Sit down with yourself or a partner and have a chat about what you would like to try: Maybe you’ve seen something in movies, media, or porn that makes you curious. Taking that open curiosity, you can act on it: Perhaps if bondage interests you, you may buy your first ropes & a tutorial book to play with your partner.
Photo by Joshua Mcknight from Pexels
I want to talk to my partner about “spicing things up” but don’t want them to be offended
This dilemma has been around since the dawn of time - and it’s super easy to solve! It’s all in the language you are using.
Offense is usually taken when we give feedback that suggests our partner is lacking, or not living up to a standard. We can combat this by giving feedback that has positive reinforcement, with gentle suggestions like…
“Babe, I really love the way you hold space for me during sex & I feel really safe with you. I’ve been wanting to try this kink, and I want to know your thoughts on trying this next time in bed. I think it will be super exciting since we can be so open with each other”
“I want to try this kink because I’m bored and maybe it will be exciting for the both of us”
One’s really gentle and encouraging, the other would make someone shut down - be pristine with your language and always show how much you care!
Best way to clean and store thrusters?
After a use, I always rinse my Thruster’s with warm water and soap before spraying them down with a toy cleaner. I love the antibacterial properties & gentle smell - leaving an ultra clean, ready to use surface. You can hand wash, use sprays like I do, or even get a UV sanitizer like UVEE, which uses UV rays to demolish bacteria, fungus, and viruses.
Glisten is a great toy cleaner that The Thruster carries by Gleam Body Co!
Once sanitized, I love storing my Thruster’s in silk or cotton bags to avoid dust build up and keep them safe.