Pride Month

Happy Pride, babes! While Pride is a moment for us queer folks to celebrate being queer AF, it’s also a time of celebrating our community at large. While being openly queer is magical (alongside it’s many hardships), we are celebrating the queer folks who haven’t come out, those still deciphering their feelings, and especially honoring ourselves and others for the trials we have gone through in our queer experiences. While we have a long ways to go in society, it does feel pretty surreal to be talking so openly and proudly about our queer experiences. I loved your Q’s this time!

M. Never sex but have watched Ms and I like pegging. Don’t feel straight but don’t feel Q?? 

If I’m understanding the question correctly, you are a man who’s never had sex. You watch men have sex and like pegging, which leads you to not feel so straight, but also not feel queer. 

First, it’s totally normal that you’re stuck in the middle - making up our minds about our sexuality is hard! Lucky for you - you don’t have to. Sexuality is truly a spectrum and it will continue to flow in whatever direction it may take - it’s not clear sometimes whether that means straight, or queer. 

When talking about pegging, we must really work hard to not encourage the idea that pegging implies queerness. Pegging, or penetration of the rectum, can be pleasurable and fun for anybody of any gender. Straight people can peg, and it doens’t diminish their straightness - this does not define your sexuality!

As for watching men have sex, let yourself explore your curiosity. Watching queer sex or porn doesn’t imply you are automatically queer, but I think it’s important to be open with yourself to consider this can be exciting for you. If it is? Fuck yes, enjoy - your sexuality is yours. 

I think I’m bi, but have only been with the opposite sex. What is the best way to start exploring my sexuality?

Welcome to the bi club! You are not alone in this - many of us don’t even consider exploring our bi side until we’ve been years deep with only the opposite sex. This is so exciting! When this happened to me, it felt like completely starting over in the dating pool and relearning again, which can be daunting. What’s been the easiest and most effective thing for me has been dating apps!

• When setting up your profile, you can clearly state you are seeking the same sex and put filters for that.
• You can match directly with the same sex and start having conversations - having convos alone really helps break the ice
• I personally LOVE Feeld. Not only can you find same sex partners, but it’s very sex positive and you can be clear with your sexal intentions. 

I know this is nerve wracking but, give it a shot!

I’m not out yet, and feel like a fraud if I celebrate pride?

Repeat after me: YOU ARE SO VALID. You are not a fraud, you are a human with the right to celebrate yourself. Pride is meant to celebrate queer folks regardless if you are “in” or “out”. Being out is a huge privilege in many cases, and there are many people that would lose a lot by being out: It’s okay to not be ready or to not feel comfortable. Regardless, you are so celebrated and loved. When celebrating Pride privately, you can still find ways to maybe go to parades, queer events, online spaces, etc. considering so many allies join too. No matter what way you celebrate, be kind to yourself!